November 30, 2009

Reading between lines

This is a toughie.... Why cant be people be more direct? I am person who has tried to adapt to the situations but always ended up reading between lines when i am not supposed to and vice versa. A little introspection leads me to an upbringing issue. We from childhood have experienced the cushioning effect by our parents. They always sugar coat the world realities and present it in a way that we don't really understand the real issues.

This makes us want to hear or show the easy part. I had started molding myself to try to understand the hidden agenda between what i was being told. I was so successful that i started questioning each and every thing i was reading or being told. I was not being able to take them at face values.

The scary part comes now... people have started telling to stop this habit of mine of reading between lines. The question of trust begins to be asked.

The dilemma has me stumped. Life doesn't make it easy for anyone. Should I stop reading between lines and be liable to be hurt some more while enjoying the rosy picture of taking things at face value? or just try to read every sign and understand the real truth?

Trying to balance both can not be achieved and anyone who says otherwise is either a GOD or a complete ignorant.

November 28, 2009

Is Change the only constant thing?

The saying goes "The only constant in this world is Change". I believed this till yesterday. Today i have begun to doubt this.

Yesterday i was searching for a blog i had written more than 6 years back. Reading the blog i realized that in life i haven't changed at all. The only thing had changed was the characters in my life's situation.

I began to wonder that does a person actually ever learn from the past. I am still make the same mistakes, have the same expectations, want the same things in life.

I thought I had changed. I had made a lot promises to not allow myself to feel the same way. Never feel the pain that i underwent at that time ever again. You must have guessed where i am heading with this. I had loved and lost once when i took the vow, yet here i am again in the same situation. The solitary change is the person who i want in life right now.

I guess i am answering the question on my own. Change is an illusion that we create to make us feel better in the short run. In the long run we are who we are, when the pretenses end the realization dawns upon you that we are the still the same person wanting the same things in life.

I know many wont agree with me but just a small peek in the past and you will realize the same.